out-of-jail-wide

Welcome to Kidcatraz!

KIDCATRAZ is the inescapable feelings, emotions, and behaviors that accompany parenthood.
the-beginning

Where should I begin Zen Master?

Where should I begin Zen Master – At the beginning my child.
5-minute-meditation

“You gotta love em”, but you don’t have to like them!

If you don’t love your kids then leave this site immediately because some of the techniques that I will propose will depend on you...
Untitled

The Name Game

(Mack Mack fo fack banana bama bo back fe fi mo crack, mack) NOT! “North” is a name that should only be used if...
bffs

BFF’s – NOT!!!!!!!

Here is what I told my children regarding the best friend status “I will be your best friend, but you can’t be mine.” There...
butt

Become a “BUT” expert

Stop the drama before it starts by never saying “NO.” My 12 year old asked if she could have a boyfriend. I said “Of...
1

Say it Loud …………

Communicate your expectations to your child and anyone else who will listen. Let your children know right from the beginning that you expect them...
2

Take the 8 count

Pick and choose your battles, sometimes you just have to lay down and take the eight count. My rule of thumb is “If your...
2

I ain’t scured (scared) if you are over 50

Don’t be afraid to get in their face. But, when you are eye to eye and nose to nose, don’t yell or curse. Use...
3

NO YELLING

Never yell or curse at your children. Never call them a name that is hurtful, even if it’s true. I could call my kids...
5

I brought you into this world and…………

I never spanked my children (ok, maybe a few times). However, my consequences were such that they begged for a spanking. First I put...
smater-than-a-9th-grader

Are you smarter than a 9th grader?

They may not believe it Mom and Dad, but you are smarter than a 9th grader. So, why are you allowing your children to...
i-got-your-back

I got your back!

Your child will accept and respect your hardness if you show them an equal amount of softness. Too much hard or too much soft...
serving-the-hen

Get the Rooster not the Hen

So, your 18 year old daughter is seriously dating. First, let me tell you what NOT to say. Don’t ever say “He’s a loser”...
dancing-babies

Twerking – Nuff Said

If your 5 year old is the hit of the family reunion because she is twerking, droppin’ it likes it hot, and booty shakin’...