So, your 18 year old daughter is seriously dating. First, let me tell you what NOT to say. Don’t ever say “He’s a loser” or “You’re too good for him” or “He’s a cheater” or “You’re too young to be in love” or “What zoo did you find him at” or (here is the big one) “I forbid it.” If you really don’t want your daughter to date a particular guy, go after the rooster, not the hen. Pretend to condemn, oops I mean condone the relationship while subtlety making him realize that the light at the end of his tunnel is a train!!!!!!! My 18 year old daughter, who was a senior in high school, accepted a date with a 25 year old man. WHAT!!!!!!!! When he came to pick her up, I insisted that he show me his driver’s license. I took the license into my office and made two color copies and when I handed him his license back, I had the copies in my hand for him to see. Hmmm, I wonder what happened to him. Tell your daughter that you don’t mind her going on the date if she doesn’t mind a couple of questions (sounds fair). Here are a few suggestions:
- Ask to see his driver’s license or a comparable ID, and let him see you make a copy of it.
- Make him call your phone, right then, so that you can have his phone number in your phone.
- Make him write down his address, his parents name and phone numbers (It doesn’t matter how old he is).
- If he is employed, make sure to get the address and phone number of his place of employment.
- Send him a friend request on Facebook that he must accept prior to the date.
- Walk them out to his car with a pencil and paper and jot down his license plate number, make and model of the car. Make sure that he’s watching.
This is not a “No Dating” message. It is a “Be Selective” message.