They may not believe it Mom and Dad, but you are smarter than a 9th grader. So, why are you allowing your children to make decisions that you KNOW could negatively impact their life and yours? My daughters have taken golf lessons since they were 6 years old. I knew that if they stuck with it, they would get a golf scholarship and I would not have to pay for them to go to college. Very smart of me, right! In the 9th grade, my youngest announced that she was quitting golf. WHAT!!!! I don’t think so-SMH. My friends said that I shouldn’t force her to do something that she didn’t want to do. WHAT!!!!!!!! If you recall from a previous post (Be a but expert), I said that you should never say NO. So, when she announced that she was quitting, I said OK, BUT since you will have to pay for college, you need to start earning money NOW. So, instead of going to golf practice, I will pay you to do odd jobs (scrape all of the pigeon poop from the outside of the house – paint the wrought iron – paint the brown decorative rocks in the flower beds different colors to match the flowers, etc.). Of course, all of the jobs will be outside and you will be paid $10.00 per job that will be placed in the college fund jar. Is that OK honey! By the way, both of my girls went to college on golf scholarships!
Kids don’t know what’s best for them. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. They need the benefit of your knowledge and experience.
This is great advice. Will you in a future blog share your advice on dating?
Thank you for the response. Do I have dating advice – 2 girls – you bet!!!!! Stay tuned.
I am sure your girls are grateful for all of the decisions you have made for them and the decisions you made on their behalf. It is good they will not endure the debt resulting from continued education. I believe it is important to convey our knowledge and experiences to our children. I tell my kids I can save you time if you just listen; however, they wanted to create their own experiences, good and bad. There have been failures and successes, but they own it. Of course, when they were young, when it was important to provide them with a foundation, there was little room for discussion.. We made the important decisions for them. As they grew, physically and in maturity, they gradually worked toward their independence. We would discuss situations and the consequences and they made their decisions accordingly. How did you advise your children on the decision making process? It seems like your consequences were in the “But.”
In a previous post, I mentioned that I allowed my children to make all of the decisions that did not impact me directly. I used the example of hair cutting. If my daughter wanted to shave her head bald, no problem. There are natural consequences associated with that action (Peer Reviews). But, if she decided not to attend school, big problem because the authorities would seek answers from me. You would be surprised how many of their actions directly or indirectly impact your life.
Like you, my involvement in the decision making process lessened as they got older. But, guess what – they were always thinking – WWMD (What Would Mommie Do).