Shhhhhhhhh – You have the right to remain silent

shhhhh“When I was your age, I…..” shhhhhhhh, don’t say too much – Exercise your right to remain silent! Parents, don’t allow your children to use your past experiences as justification for their past, present, and future endeavors. My youngest daughter found a copy of my elementary school report card. I received a “C” in math. She said “See Ma, I’m not good in math either, it must be in our genes.” WHAT!!!!!!! Normally, I would not propose this, but sometimes a “Little White Lie” is necessary. I can’t share any examples because my children read this blog and they will quickly recognize the “untruth.”

Your children should have limited access to certain areas of your life. There are areas that may be “Off Limits”, require a flat out denial, or require an embellishment (lie). For example, my sex life before and after children is OFF LIMITS. My high school behaviors may require an embellishment. I know some of you are thinking how important it is for your children to see your imperfections and know that you can relate to their struggle NOT!!!!!! SMH!!!!!!! The fact that I “Played hooky” in elementary school has nothing to do with you cutting class, don’t even try it!!!! I know that many of you have heard your grandparents tell the story of how they had to walk 10 miles to school and I’ll bet you were thinking “What does that have to do with me?” Well guess what, when your children hear your stories, they are thinking the same thing. Don’t use your life story to send a message.

I guess I said all that to say that sometimes you need to “Take the 5th.”

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on “Shhhhhhhhh – You have the right to remain silent
3 Comments on “Shhhhhhhhh – You have the right to remain silent
  1. Dr. J. Talking to your children about your life’s experiences isn’t cause for them to mimic the behavior but it affords them the opportunity to get to know you. Of course, you should be selective about what you share but it would be nice for them to know that you didn’t come out saying, “of course you can…but” Sharing provides a different view, explains traditions and gives you an opportunity to explain how you overcame a particular obstacle. You may have gotten a “C” that time, but how did that “C” motivate you to do better? I grew up in the “silent majority” and I now feel as though I missed out on important and relatable experiences.

  2. JR, I too grew up in a family that didn’t share anything. My grandmother never told my mother who her father was, and she knew. Unless it is health related, I guess I believed that “What I didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me.”

    In an effort to break the cycle of “not sharing” I talk to my kids about MOST things, but not all. Sometimes it’s not a good idea for them to “feel your pain”, “walk in your shoes”, or “celebrate your accomplishments.”

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