Parents, kids don’t mind being geeks, but sometimes it is not in their best interest to look like one. I know, I know, I’ve heard all of the sayings “Don’t judge a book by its cover – It’s not what’s on the outside it’s what’s on the inside – I’ve got to be me – You don’t need a weave (OK I made that one up).” There is no need to take it to the extreme (I, too, am disgusted by Toddlers and Tiaras), but you must help your children fit in. Take the tape off of the glasses, lengthen the pants, and take that crinoline from under the skirt.
There will come a time when your child will become mature enough to be comfortable with who they are and strong enough to handle any consequences that result from their decision to be “themselves.” But, until that time, help them go from geek to chic.
My daughters are Beyoncé perpetrators. Underneath it all, they are bona fide, certified GEEKS! My oldest daughter used to say “Ma, the right man will love me just like I am.” – WHAT – Put some lipstick on, take off that hoodie, get some stilettos!!!!!!!! Tiger Woods dad helped him fool the world by changing his name from Eldrick (I guess if you say Eldrick 10X real fast it has SWAG) to Tiger (Grrrrrrr). The name, along with his millions, changed him from a Geek to a chick maggot – oops I meant magnet.
I guess I’m missing the point. Are you saying that fitting in is about appearances? Are you saying your daughter would not get a man unless she had the “girlie” look? If you are saying there are some adjustments that have to made in order to perpetrate the societal facades, then I agree. On the other hand, some people have to live/survive within the confines of their economic situation. Some are lucky to clothe their children and cannot worry about pants being too short or clothes being faddish. It is unfortunate that “chic” is defined in variably different dimensions. Look at the children of all ages and cultures electing to wear weaves, excess makeup (to include eyelashes), designer sneakers and stilettos, accompanied by the designer purse, of course. We are an “extreme-centered” society (which is quite relative by the way). I agree, your child at some point will determine how they want to present themselves; however, making them wear braids with 15 million beads or hair that is teased to the max or a mohawk at two, is most likely not that child’s decision. It is the parents who have a certain vision as to how they want their kids to look because “they” think it is cute or, they want to impress the Jones family. If you as a parent, have labeled your child a “geek” and have determined the way they look is not within the societal boundaries of appropriateness or is not compatible with success, then I encourage you to “pick” your child’s clothing and determine how “you” want them to look, based on your assessment. Oh, and don’t forget to change their names while you are at it. The skills…what skills, just change their names to emulate power: Bear, Tarantula, Lion, Alligator…you get my point. Dr. J, perhaps if you expound on this concept, I will get a better understanding of what you are saying. I was taught that if your clothes, along with your underwear are clean, you have shoes on your feet and your hair looks like someone tried to comb and style it, then you are good to go. I looked like ME!